Covert Surveillance
by SauvignonFierce
Summary: A year after Garcia is shot, Morgan keeps checking up on her. But does he do it because she's his friend or because his feelings for her are overwhelming? Morgan/Garcia Please review!


Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it?

-Neil Gaiman

Morgan never told anyone how much he had shattered when Penelope was shot. The team knew he was angry, hell, he was more than angry: he was out for blood. They knew he had shut down and would have done anything to make sure his baby girl was all right. They saw it in his eyes, how his whole world had collapsed when he'd heard, but they never knew just how much it destroyed him.

They never knew because he'd never told them. He'd never told anyone but himself, he hadn't even told Penelope. Watching her in the hospital bed, bandaged from the hours of surgery it had taken to keep her alive, he almost blacked out. Not from stress, not from sadness, but from rage. Morgan had learned to keep his anger in check in his line of work, but this was different. This was the one person he cared about more than anyone. She was closer to him than family, more caring than any woman he'd ever been with, and made him laugh like no one else could.

When he'd finally left the church that night and turned on his phone, his heart dropped instantly. 37 missed calls: 12 from Reid, 10 from JJ, 8 from Prentiss, 4 from Rossi and 3 from Hotch. He knew something bad had happened, but he didn't make the connection until he reached Reid that none of the missed calls were from Penelope.

"Morgan," Reid's rushed voice had said. It was strained, holding something back.

"What the hell is going on?" He'd asked, walking to his car.

"Garcia's been shot." He dropped his keys. He heard everything and nothing in that moment, his ears ringing like he'd been right next to the gun.

"Is she all right?" He asked angrily.

"She's in surgery…we don't know." He snapped his phone closed, and drove like the hounds of hell were on his tail until he reached the hospital. When he got there and they told him she was going to be okay, he could have sat down and cried, he could have collapsed and they would have understood. They knew how close Morgan and Garcia were, but of course he didn't fall. He stood strong, like the cop he'd once been.

Now, weeks had passed, Garcia was back, ignoring Hotch's request that she take more time off to recover. She'd simply looked at him over her cat eye glasses and he'd backed off with a small smile and a pat on her arm. No matter how hard he tried, Morgan couldn't let go the feeling that he needed to protect her. Battle was dead, Penelope was safe. He knew this, but he couldn't let go.

And now, he had to watch her flirt with Kevin Lynch almost everyday. She told him everything and he gritted his teeth, smiled and encouraged her. Every night, when he went home after making a covert sweep past her apartment to make sure she was safe, and thought about what he was doing. Before she was shot, she was his baby girl. She was his best friend, his closest confidant, the only person who knew what was bothering him before he did. After she was shot, she became Penelope. He'd realized it moments after coming to her bedside when she was out of surgery. He loved her. Not in the way he always said he did, but in the true meaning of the word, whatever that was. He didn't want her to be with anyone else, and he couldn't bear the thought of her with Kevin, no matter how nice the other analyst was.

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Every time they playfully flirted at work, he saw the team's smiles. He knew they thought Penelope was in love with him and he didn't reciprocate. In reality, it was the other way around. He'd given her plenty of opportunities to say something. Meaningful pauses, late movie nights, drunken evenings at the bar resulting in them stumbling back to his apartment and falling asleep on the couch. But she never took the bait.

He was sitting outside of her house one night, thinking about the case they'd just closed when there was a knock on his window. He looked up into the unimpressed face of Penelope. He rolled the window down with a grimacing smile.

"Really, Derek?" She asked, crossing her arms. He sighed.

"I come by every night to check up on you," he admitted. She snorted.

"I may not be a profiler, Agent Morgan, but I think I noticed the huge black SUV outside my apartment every night." She opened the car door. "Come on up, I'm not letting you off this easy."

They walked past the almost invisible bloodstain on the concrete from almost a year ago. No matter how much it rained, there was still a faint outline to remind her what had happened. She didn't mind it though because it let her know she was alive and that not even a crazed homicidal narcissist could change that. She was holding Morgan's hand as they walked upstairs and he savored the feel of her soft skin on his. She had no idea what she did to him.

They got upstairs and she sat him down on her couch, tucking one leg under her and sitting to look at him.

"Care to explain why you keep me under surveillance?" She asked, looking at him eagerly.

"After what happened with Battle…I feel the need to protect you," he admitted.

"Protect me? Derek, I appreciate how much you care, but I don't need protecting."

"I know. I know you don't need it, baby girl, but I want to. I can't sleep without knowing you're all right."

"You know, there are these things called phones, and they're pretty useful sometimes." He laughed, letting his head fall against the back of the couch.

"I know. Don't ask me why this makes sense, but it does to me."

"Derek, what's going on with you?" He looked up at her, puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, don't pull that with me. I know you, handsome, and I know when you're upset or worried or you've just got something on your mind. And for months now you've been weird around me. No one else would notice, but you are. Like right now, normally you'd be flirting my pants off but you aren't." She stopped and her face cleared. "Ohhh, does this mean Derek Morgan has a girlfriend? Is she weird about our relationship? Because Kevin definitely had some questions at first but I told him-"

"I don't want to talk about Kevin!" He said angrily. He wanted to stop talking, but he knew he'd opened the floodgates and that this was it- there was no going back. "Listen, Penelope, you're one of the cleverest people I know, but sometimes you're really blind. I realized something when you got shot: I had to protect you. Not because you need protection, not because you can't take care of yourself, but because I can't live without you. In New York, when I was driving the ambulance, do you remember what I said to you?" She was puzzled but she nodded.

"You told me I was your god given solace," she said with a smile.

"And I meant it. Your voice is the one I need to hear on the other end of the phone when I'm….when I'm scared, when I'm alone. You're the only person who can remind me that I need to keep fighting no matter what, because I know that you'll always be there on the other end of the line for me."

"Derek, what are you saying?" He leaned in close, bringing his hands to her face and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

"I've been in love with you for years, Penelope. And I hate that it took something so traumatic to make me realize." She held his gaze but drew back, pushing his hands off her face.

"Derek, you can't say that," she said, fighting back tears. "I…I have Kevin, I'm happy." His heart sank. He knew he shouldn't have said anything but he couldn't help himself.

"Can you honestly say you've never thought about it? Thought about me?" He asked, his voice straining. She didn't answer right away, just looked down at her hands.

"If we switched places, you wouldn't let yourself think about it either, trust me," she mumbled.

"Don't say that, don't ever say that. You're beautiful, baby girl. All of you, I mean it. I…you drive me crazy." She stood up and pointed at the door.

"I need you to leave, Derek. I need you to go, right now. I can't hear this from you, not now." He stuttered but she shut him up. "Please," she begged. "Please." He stood up and walked to the door, calmly leaving and heading down to his car. She heard him slam the door heavily and drive away.

The next morning, the BAU office felt a little tense. Maybe because Derek wasn't waiting by the door for Penelope like he did most morning, maybe because they hadn't heard so much as one "baby girl" out of his mouth or one "beef cake" out of hers. Nobody had the courage to bring it up to either of them, though. Nobody wanted to interfere in their strange relationship.

At lunch, Derek put away his papers and made his way to Penelope's office. The door was open and he walked in without knocking. She sat, facing her screens while endless lines of codes danced across the walls and she tapped away happily at the keyboard.

"Penelope," he said quietly. She spun around in her purple chair, looking at him with a faltering smile.

"Hi, Derek."

"I need to apologize for last night. I know you're with Kevin and if he makes you happy, I'd never want to compromise that-"

"I broke up with Kevin," she blurted out. He raised his eyebrows. She stood up and paced in front of him. "After you came over last night I couldn't stop thinking about it. Of course I've thought about you that way, Derek. I don't call you beautiful and perfect for nothing. I just never seriously considered it because well, you are the closest thing to Adonis we've had on earth since Hercules himself probably." Derek laughed. "And well, as sexy as I am, I'm not really your type and to be honest, you're not really mine. But I love you, I've always loved you and yesterday…when you said you'd always protect me, it made me realize I'd never wanted to be protected like that before you. You make me feel safe, Derek." He walked over to her, stopping her in her tracks and running his hands down her arms.

"I promise, Penelope Garcia, I will always protect you." She smiled up at him.

"Do you really?" He gave her a look she was used to getting and it made her laugh.

"Baby girl," he kissed her, dipping his head down and finally feeling her strawberry lipgloss on his own lips, his tongue, a taste he could definitely get used to. "I don't make empty promises."

His phone rang in his pocket and he sighed, releasing her and looking at the name.

"Man does Hotch know how to ruin a moment," he said. "We gotta go," he said as her phone lit up on the desktop. She kissed him once more, patting him softly on the bottom and then left the room. He grinned and trailed behind her. They passed Prentiss in the hallway.

"Morgan," she said. He looked up from where his eyes were tracing Penelope's every movement. "You got a little Garcia on you." She pointed to his lip. His tongue darted out and he licked off the remaining lip gloss.

Each morning I gaze at the eastern horizon, and if the sun keeps its promise, I keep mine.

-Robert Brault


End file.
